Christmas Newsletter

Could you guys give me more suggestions on what to put in the Christmas letter. Thanks.

You know, when you have perfect children, Christmas letters are really boring. Same ol’, same ol’. Perfect this, perfect that. Ho Hum.

Fortunately, we don’t have perfect children, so we’ll have to make up some lies to keep it interesting. Actually, maybe I should leave out the children since most of you don’t even know them and just talk about Charlotte and me.

There are some pretty horrifying things that have happened to us. Life is very, very hard right now for the Brady’s. Challenges that seem insurmountable.

For example, I now have a stomach that is pushing my belt down slightly. Mind you, my waist size hasn’t changed, it’s just that it has moved down an inch or two making my front side look like I’m old. But I’m not old. I also have to push my chin out in pictures (see enclosed photo) so my second chin doesn’t show quite so much. I want to emphasize that I am not old and I have not gained weight. But the fat has taken on a life of its own and has rearranged itself while I sleep. I can now fall asleep sitting up either in church or watching my kids’ favorite movie. My family throws things at me so I’ll stop snoring so they can hear.

Charlotte hasn’t changed. She is exactly the same except for one minor change. Pick up the picture and look very closely. Look specifically at her eyes. Can you see her squinting? The reason she is squinting is because she can’t see. We even had to turn her head toward the camera so she’s looking in the right direction. We have to read things for her all the time. She has those granny glasses with the chain around her neck just like the glasses that the woman who plays the organ in church wears. Other than that, she’s the same. Exactly. (She’s looking over my shoulder as I write this. I’ve had to enlarge the print 3 X so she can read it.)

OK. I guess I’ll mention the kids. Melinda married some guy named Joseph. When he asked my permission to marry her, my response was, “Halleluhia! One kid off my payroll!” The wedding cost a fortune. Melinda and Joseph only spent what they needed—a reasonable amount. It was Charlotte who spent a fortune on landscaping. Remember, we have 5 acres! It now looks like the grounds at temple square! Melinda’s teaching middle school. Joseph’s entreprenuering.

Stephanie-age 20. Stephanie’s life is very complicated right now. Here’s what’s going on in a nutshell. Very confusing. 2 RM’s are fighting over her. She’s dated one of them a long time. The other one is relatively new. One offered her a diamond. The other hasn’t, . . . yet. And her missionary is due home two weeks after Christmas. 3 guys. Boring. Oh yea. She’s almost a senior at BYU Idaho. I’d better not write more. If you have RM sons, please don’t let them look at her picture. We don’t want more guys showing up.

Afton—age 19. I’m not really sure what Afton does. No one knows. Depends on the day. The only thing I hear her talk about is how boys keep trying to kiss her and she’s says, “Let’s not do that. I’m going on a mission in ______ # of months/days.” I guess she is still skating (I just bought her some $600 skates so I assume she’s using them to skate) plus she’s coaching future Utah Olympians. She choreographed part of the Christmas ice skating extravaganza in Provo. She also subs for Melinda.

Brett—18. Brett, along with the entire high school soccer team, dyed his hair (blue) again this year for playoffs. Last year it was red. Last year they won state. This year they forgot to show up at the championship game and let a puny team slip up and beat them. Finished second. We’re still in shock. Should have used red dye again. He’s now shaves his head and not his face. Go figure. He’s trying out for the BYU soccer team in March. He’s graduating early, so the timing is perfect. He drives the speed limit now because numerous tickets cut into his social budget. Now he realizes speed limits are more than just suggestions or recommendations.

Mark—14. Mark is the most social person on the planet. An hour doesn’t go by that he doesn’t ask to have some friends over. They play paintball and make movies with 14 year-old humor. It’s painful. He has a one-track mind. We just don’t know what track he’s on. We’ve never seen this track. No one has. It’s never been recorded in history. He now thinks he’s cool cuz he wears a baseball cap and has “wings” of hair sticking out. Can’t wait ‘til he falls asleep on the couch. He builds anything out of duct tape. I mean anything. Shoes, coats, roses, swords. Thanks to the internet, he has over a dozen colors of tape.

John—11. John is the funniest kid in our family. He’s blunt and has the most contagious laugh. Ed McMahon. He’s not sure whether he’s a big kid or a little kid. Loves any activity where he gets to stay home. Charlotte and I think it’s because he loves us so much. He assures us that’s not the reason. John plays the clarinet and loves all kinds of sports. He’s outside all the time kicking, hitting or shooting some ball.

Matt—8. Just got baptized. He cried, “Phew!” when he came out of the water. He sang a solo at the Christmas party. He’s a pro. However, he was very puzzled why everyone clapped at the end of his song. Might even have perfect pitch. Loves to play with his little sister and loves school.

Annalise—4. Not spoiled. Beats up on her brothers. Thinks she’s 17. Already has her husband picked out. They’ve practiced the actual wedding several times. Runs the family.

Well, there you have it. We’re going to Costa Rica over Christmas. My old mission. Next year I’m sure we’ll send you pictures.

I hope you’ve enjoyed these lies. Makes us feel better.

We love you guys.

Address: 3940 Timber Lane Colorado Springs, CO 80908 (719)495-2984
charlottehbrady@msn.com or drbradydds@gmail.com.