Carol Burnett Show outtakes - Tim Conway's Elephant Story

Dad this is for you. I laughed pretty much the entire time.

SEASONS GREETINGS!!!

So I know that it may be a little early to celebrate the winter holiday's that we all enjoy but come on with amazing talent like this who can't get into the Christmas spirit!! Joseph we figured that its too late for you to back out now and so you can see stuff like this and we don't have worry about you skipping town. (However if you did, we would understand) 

This Just Needs to be Shared- This May be Long, Sorry Brett

So Stephanie is in a Special Education class this semester. As with all education classes, observation in class rooms is required. Being the good procrastinating student that I am, I went to my first special education observation yesterday. During the experience I was truly traumatized, but as I think back on it I laugh...hard. It went something like this:

Walking into the room I knew that the regular teacher was not there. The called substitute went to the wrong school and stayed because they needed her. So the two teachers aids were the only ones there. Both were grandma age, so we know they had had their fill of children. One was on probation. She was very soft spoken. Always minded her P's and Q's. And basically let the kids walk all over her. The other lady had not one ounce of cheer or happiness in her entire being. She was the enforcer, the 'mean one' because the other lady couldn't do it.

There were 14 kids, ranging from first to third grade. Ten of which were little boys. Obviously the other 4 were girls. TEN boys that had learning disabilities. Ranging from ADHD to autism to behavioral disorders to brain damage.

I walked in and disrupted their entire focus. "Whats your name?", "You have pretty hair.", "What's your name?", "HER NAME IS TIFFANY, SAM HER NAME IS TIFFANY, SHE TOLD ME.", "Will you sharpen my pencils?". This is what I heard just by stepping into the class. I introduced myself, but that did not fill their curiosity. I was asked about 15 times what my name was.

Next on their agenda was to watch a movie. Beatrix Potter's Peter Rabbit. They were told to bring over their chairs. "STOP HITTING ME!", "MOVE! THAT'S MY CHAIR!", "TEACHER, HE HIT ME", "Can I get a drink?". They were all over the place. They hit each other. The teacher said 'no' to the drink and they would dart away from her and run get a drink or they turned and asked me. One girl came up to me, hugged me and put her head on my shoulder and asked "Can I get a little tiny drink, please?" After the aid told her no. During the movie a boy took off his shirt. "I can't see!", "Does cats eat bunnies?". By the end 1/2 of the boys were sitting in chairs off by themselves or by the teacher.

During snack time: "I don't like those", "AAAAHHH, HE TOOK MINE!" followed by a smack to the culprit. I was passing out napkins. I handed one to a boy and the kid next to him, we'll call him Jake (HELLION), took the napkin out of his hand and just stared defiantly at me. I told him to give it back now! He crumpled it up and threw it in the kids face.

During bathroom break they had to go in one at a time and almost every time a boy would need to be fetched. During recess a little boys glasses were stolen. When it was time to come in, the kids hid and ran away from the aid. It literally took fifteen minutes to round all of the kids up.

After recess the 'mean' aid too about 1/2 of the kids to the bus because it was their turn to leave. That made things a bit more manageable, but not much. While the 'sweet' aid was distracted Jake ran to the other side of the room, stole a pair of scissors and ran back to his desk. I went over to his desk and just held out my hand. He threw the scissors in his desk pretending not to have stolen them. When I reached into his desk to get the scissors he grabbed my arm and bit me. I threw his head off, took the scissors and walked away. "DID THAT HURT?". Punk brat wanted to hurt me. I thought of Melindas student that needed anger from others to feel in control.

"I gotta rash between my legs". Yes, this is a true quote. A boy announced that to me and proceeded to tell me about his trip to the doctor. "You have pretty eyes" - he couldn't stay on topic long either. Then a little girl came up and kissed me.

Oh my, there were tears, fights, chasing. One boy went quietly up to the nice teacher and in a very polite sweet voice said: "Um... when we got a drink and went to the bathroom I accidentally forgot to go to the bathroom and just got a drink (YEAH RIGHT!). Can I go to the bathroom?" DUMB TEACHER LET HIM GO- BY HIMSELF. Mean teacher was so ticked.

Jake and I were buds after he bit me because I told him that he did a good job on his alphabet puzzle. Dang kid just need love. We had a few missions to go and collect kids that had bolted out the door. We had fights that drew blood, over garbage. Jake and another girl took everything out of their desks and dumped the contents all over the floor. The funny thing was, when they did something bad and the mean teacher got up, they ran to their desks and put their heads on it because that is what she was coming over to enforce. I was spit at. They spit on the aids. It was utter chaos.

Conclusion: I'm never being a teacher and I'm not having kids. I hope you all don't mind. Daniel and I are going to the Caribbean and staying in school for the rest of our lives. I was exhausted just watching all of the movement. They NEVER stop. Its constant. Anyway, it was insane and I wanted to tell the story. Daniel about died laughing at the: "I gotta rash between my legs". That was hilarious. I came home and just got into bed:-)

"It's not FUNNY!!!"

Many of us... if not all of us have said those 3 words sometime in our life to Brett; Mom says them 95 times a day! Well... it was time for payback. For all hours that we as a family have had to endure tripping, poking on one shoulder and jumping to the next, holding our stuff high in the air so we have to jump to get it and of course the poking... payback would be sweet! Now we all know how excited Brett gets about computers. Well - I've never seen him THIS excited. Brett ordered a new MacBook and everyday we got an updated of where the computer was- New York, Texas, Denver ect.. The day of delivery Brett called to make sure someone was going to be home when the FedEx man arrived. He came at 10. Brett had to wait THE WHOLE DAY at work to touch his prize. Then Mom and I had an idea... We took out the computer from the brown FedEx box and replaced it with to phonebooks and a sign that read "SUCKA" set at the opening of the box. We then re-taped the box and left it in the kitchen. We hid the computer. Here are the results. There are several videos worth. HAPPY WATCHING!

Beef Heaven

Ok so Daniel and I tried a new dish tonight and it was AMAZING so I am going to post it so you all can try it. Honestly, this stuff is so good. Its supposed to be the equivalent to Mongolian Beef at PF Changs.

1 lb Flank Steak (I used cheaper top round steak and it worked fine)
1/4 c corn starch
Chop steak into thin slices and completely coat with corn starch;
let stand for 10 minutes
2 Tablespoons Oil
1 Tablespoon Chopped Garlic
1/2 teaspoon Ginger (Mel and Afton I have extra ginger if you want it)
Heat all of these together and toast - BE CAREFUL NOT TO BURN
1/2 c soy sauce
3/4 c brown sugar
Add to the garlic mixture and bring to a boil for 2-3 minutes - BE CAREFUL NOT TO BURN
Remove from heat

In 1/2 c (abt) oil cook the steak. When your finished dab steak with paper towel to remove oil.

Then you are supposed to wipe out the oil from the pan and add beef and sauce. But what I did was just used two different pans for the beef and sauce and I just added the beef to the sauce pan.... just made it easier...

So add the sauce and cooked beef and simmer for a few minutes

Add green onions to garnish (I put them in the sauce while it was simmering)


Top with a lot of rice. Daniel and I made rice for two people and we needed a lot more. The sauce is amazing, but it's better with rice.

Anway- that's it, it was delicious!!! SO SO good. Try it, I hope you like it.
By the way... this is gluten free, dairy free and wheat free:-) ENJOY!